1.

I woke up to the vibrating of my cell phone, the alarm was set for 5.30 am; I quickly slid it from under my pillow and switched the alarm off. I rubbed my eyes to get the sleep out and sat up. Today was going to be an important day in my life, or so I thought. I had made up a ritual and it had to be done every day at the crack of dawn starting today. I peered out from the corner of my bedroom window moving the curtains very slightly; it was still dark outside, the first rays of light yet to touch the sky. I padded over to my study table at the other end of the bedroom, opened the drawer and pried loose a book stuck to the inside top of the drawer. My secret journal. Grabbing a glitter pen from the table I sat at my desk and on a new blank page with today’s date, I wrote:

March 20, Monday

Today is the start of two important things –

  1. Today is the first day of my last year of school
  2. Today is the day I start my investigations

 

Little did I know that my resolution would change my whole life and that of many other people too!

Hi, I am Priyanka, 17 years and 8 months old and this is the story of who I am.

Tearing out a new piece of double edged tape I stuck my journal back to the inside top of the drawer. I pushed my hand inside and pressed it tightly even though my hand hurt, bent at such an awkward angle. I had to make sure it didn’t fall out if anyone else opened or closed the drawer. You see; I’ve read a lot of mystery and detective books, so I know a bit about ‘covering my tracks’ as they put it. Then I opened my bedroom door just a crack and then an inch; peering out into the darkness looking for any movement in the corridor. My father’s bedroom was at the end of the corridor, mine was just near the landing of the staircase; our doors were about ten feet apart. There was another bedroom between ours, the guest bedroom, which shared a common wall with dad’s. I’ll tell you the reason for this seemingly weird ritual. Three months ago I had woken to the sound of heels on the floor in the middle of the night and when I peered out from the key-hole on my door I had seen a woman outside my dad’s bedroom walking towards the stairs with him. She was slim with dark cascading long hair, dressed up in a beautiful gown and pointy shoes with high heels. After they passed my bedroom and went downstairs, I slowly opened the door a crack and saw them walk to the main door, and then she turned to speak to dad. I froze; I could see her clearly even though there was little light; it wasn’t anyone I knew. Her gown had one red sleeve and one blue sleeve; it was so unusual it caught my fancy. They spoke in low voices for a minute and then she opened the door, turned back to say something more to dad; something like ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ perhaps?;  then she smiled and leaned forward and gave him an awkward hug! She was beautiful, not more than my mom; but a pretty face that I would remember nonetheless. That remainder of that night I was awake, thoughts running through my mind at high speed. I wondered if dad was going to marry her. It had been eight years since mom passed away and we both missed her greatly. Dad had never shown any inclination towards the women who had vied for his attention after mom was no more, but now this worried me a bit.

Adults think that we teens are so self-absorbed that we don’t notice things happening around us, they are wrong. We do, we notice each and everything but we just choose to ignore it and not react.

Finding a woman at home in the middle of the night troubled me; I didn’t want him to marry some gold digger who would probably make life hell for me. Life wasn’t all that smooth, but I’m sure it was better than me having to deal with a strange woman who would scheme her way into our lives and then ask me to call her ‘mummy’! So every night since I saw the mysterious woman coming out from my dad’s room, I made sure I checked for any signs of her return; well at least the nights that I could wake up (which were quite few since I slept like a log!) But I never saw her again, nor did dad ever mention her or any other woman for that matter, and that was good.

Now after completing my ‘check’ I shut the door softly and crossed over to the window again. I peered out from the same corner and looked at the street. It was quiet, devoid of any sign of life. All the duplex houses like ours sat beside each other looking silent, dark and broody. I climbed back into bed, snuggled under the blanket and fell asleep. It had taken me about 13 minutes for this whole exercise and I made a silent promise to myself that I would do this every single morning.

2. 

The first rays of light were just about lighting up the sky now. In another 15 minutes Shanta would come and open the back door to the kitchen with her key. She would start preparations for breakfast, make Priyankas’s chocolate milk and pack her snack box and water bottle for school, then put the coffee machine on for Mr.Keshav, her boss. Then she would cross through the kitchen into the living room and unlock the main door, the driver would be here any minute. She would then pick up a broom and sweep the leaves and flowers that fell from the overhanging bougainvillea away from the entrance. Soon enough Motilal would pedal up in his ancient cycle. At 6.30 am sharp she would go upstairs to wake Priyanka up for school. Motilal would drive Priyanka around all day to her school and classes; he was her personal driver. When Piyanka’s mother, Mona was alive, she would drive her to school. Mother and daughter went everywhere together and were very close. But ever since her mother was no more, Keshav put his faithful driver since many years on Priyanka’s duty and he hired himself a new driver. He knew he could trust Motilal to keep his daughter safe. Everything worked like clockwork in the morning and it had to; for Keshav hated delay or incompetent work of any kind.

After Mona’s passing away Keshav withdrew into a shell, everyone including Priyanka waited patiently for him to overcome his grief and direct his love and attention to the ten year old. Keshav got over his grief but distanced himself from his daughter to her consternation. He pushed her away and became businesslike in his approach to her, only speaking when he had to, especially to reprimand her. Priyanka being the loving child she was followed all of his rules and did exactly as he wanted in a bid to make her father happy and win his affection, but he always found fault with her. Time passed and Priyanka grew bitter and gave up on her dad; she broke all his rules and deliberately opposed him at every step, challenging him and disregarding his every word. Slowly the chasm between father and daughter widened so much that it was impossible to cross over. Keshav would have to move mountains in order to get his daughter’s love back. But he was not interested; at all.

And so they lived together, in the same house, like strangers. Keshav waiting for Priyanka to finish her schooling so he could send her to a university far away from him and Priyanka counting her days till she finished school so she could move away from her dad. They both unknowingly worked towards a common goal and the only thing they agreed on was choices of universities; all of them being out of the country. Till then he made sure he provided her with everything she needed, except his time or affections; the house staff included Shanta, the maid who took care of the house work and Priyanka. She called her ‘baby’ and treated her like she was fragile and would shatter at any moment; which could have easily been true. Motilal and David were the drivers, Motilal on Priyanka’s duty, ferrying her wherever she wanted to go.

And so Priyanka’s life revolved around the niceness and sympathy laced love that she got from Shanta and Motilal. She craved to be accepted without being pitied upon.

3.

There was hammering and I woke with a start. Shantabai was knocking on my door insistently, “Priyanka baby, wake up! you will be late for school.” I yawned and stretched. “Yes, im awake.” Exactly 25 minutes later I was going down the stairs all dressed for school; smiling to myself thinking about my ritual that morning. No one else had a clue what I was upto, it was my secret. It excited me, my head filling with endless possibilities of what I would find out with my ‘investigations’.

“You are late” Dad looked at me angrily snapping me out of my reverie. “I’m not late. It’s 6.55, I don’t have to leave till 7.” I snapped back. “Motilal, put my bag in the car.” “Speak to him with respect, he is much older.” “You are right, if I need to respect anyone here its Motilalji.” I turned away from him, slipped my feet into my shoes, leaving the laces to be tied later; grabbed a sandwich from the table and walked out the door.  Shanta actually ran behind the car with my cup of chocolate milk in her hand shouting “Baby you didn’t drink the milk” Unbelievable! As Motilal drove out of the complex I didn’t know to laugh at her histrionics or cry because my dad was always so mean to me. I stared out at the lush trees that lined the fence of the complex and took a bite of the sandwich and spat it out immediately. I had picked up dads lettuce, tomato and mayo sandwich not my jam one. I rolled down the window and tossed it out on the street. I would have probably eaten it on any other day, but today I was angry. Angry that he had to rebuke me at every step I took; even if I did everything perfectly to please him he would still find fault with me; and I knew this because I had experienced it. I had spent many years trying to be the perfect good little girl, wanting his approval but he never ever saw anything good in anything I did. I was always wrong. Either too quiet or too loud, either I picked at my food like an anorexic girl or ate like a starved beggar (this he said to me when we were out at a restaurant with his business partner and his family!) And today he doused the good mood that I had woken up with. “Great! What a terrific start to my day! Nothing to eat.” I huffed out loud. I tied my shoelaces and peered inside the tiffin box. Jam sandwiches! Yay! I ate one and shut the box. Motilal glanced at me in the rear-view. He never ever spoke, just glanced and I knew if he was sad for me or happy. I could read Motilal better than my own dad!

At school I skipped up the stairs; this was my happy place. I was the queen here and school was my kingdom. I was mildly popular; most of the teachers loved me, I was amazingly confident, among the top ten in my class and helpful and friendly to all. I took part in debates, school plays, contested school elections for head girl, volunteered for all school activities (more time away from home for me) and even presented the sports day last year. Everyone loved me in school and other girls envied me. I loved the adoration and attention and thrived on it.

The first day was the usual, introductions in each class and three lectures by three different teachers on how to work hard and be focused this last year of high school to secure a seat in a good college, also a lot of information by the school counselor who kept reminding us that we could walk into her cabin any time of the day to talk about any problem, personal or school related. Another lecture by the Physical Education teacher who stressed on healthy body and healthy mind; and then thankfully it was the end of the day.

After school I walked to the gate waving to my classmates, but Motilal wasn’t parked in his usual spot. I called him but his phone was unreachable. After standing in the hot sun for about two minutes I went back inside the gate and sat on the stone benches that ran along the wall. There was another girl sitting a few seats away from me, engrossed in a book and glancing up every few pages looking towards the gate. I pushed my earphones in and turned up the volume to Taylor Swift. I sat like that for about ten minutes then paused the music to call Motilal again. Still unreachable! Where was he? He was never late. So I called home and Shanta picked up, “Has Motilal left for school? Is there a problem with the car?” “No baby,” I cringed at ‘baby’, “Motilal is not well, he had a fever when he came back after dropping you to school. He told Sir.” “Then how should I come home?” “Baby, Sir knows, he must be coming to pick you.” I disconnected and took a deep breath. I felt like I was back in my first grade when dad used to drive me to school; but would he come today? Maybe he would just send the car for me. “Your driver is late?” The girl with the book was talking to me. “Hmm, yes. Yours too?” “No. My brother’s school ends 15 minutes before mine so the driver is going to pick him up first and then me. He’s younger than me, so…” “Which school is he in?” “Gracious Cardinal.” “Oh ok. So you have quite a bit of wait. That school is far.” “Ya, will take at least 20 minutes to get here.” “So you are going to wait every day?”  “Ya, I don’t mind at all. I’m getting time to read my Harry Potter.” She grinned. She seemed nice, but what was with the ya’s! I smiled as I looked at her. “I’m new here”, she added after a minute. “Oh, which school were you in before?” “Same as my brother; Gracious Cardinal. I want to become a doctor and this school has the best science department, so for my last two years of higher secondary school I changed to here.” “Oh wow! I’m impressed. So career focused.” I smiled, she was nice. “Hey, my driver is here, I can drop you somewhere” “No, its ok, my dad should be here soon. Oh, by the way, what’s your name?” “Tara” she said as she waved bye. She disappeared into her blue SUV and I immediately missed her company. There was something sweet about the simplicity and openness with which she spoke; and her ya’s, I grinned to myself thinking I needed to try them out on dad.

A small sigh escaped and I dialed dad. “Where are you?  How much longer?” “How much longer for what? You are disturbing me in the middle of my meeting.” “To pick me up” I said as politely as I could. “Why are you calling me? Call Motilal!” he was irritated. I was stunned. “What do you mean? Didn’t Motilal tell you he had a fever? Shanta said you knew.” Silence. And then I could hear him breathing deeply in and out. He did that yoga thing whenever he was very upset (with me). A way to calm down or some shit like that; a way to make me feel even more unwanted, if you asked me. “Did you just forget about me?” “Calm down Priyanka. I’ll send David to pick you up. I’m at Gandhi Nagar so it will take him half an hour. Don’t disturb me again.” I pressed the end call button. What was I supposed to say? This was horrible. Why didn’t he just talk to me and tell me why he became this way? He behaved like he wasn’t my dad at all. Feeling utterly helpless I made up my mind to start driving lessons with Motilal. I had to learn to drive, only then I wouldn’t have to rely on anyone to go anyplace. I buried my head in my hands willing myself to not cry; another half hour to wait!

“Hi! What happened?” I looked up. Tara was back. “Why are you back?” “I forgot this!” She said as she picked up her book she was reading earlier from the bench. “Your dad hasn’t come yet?” “No, he’s stuck at the office” I said. “Come then, ill drop you.” “Are you sure” I asked? I didn’t want her mom or dad getting mad at me for making her late. “Yaa”, she drawled, “no worries, come.” She smiled and I got up, slung my bag over my shoulder and followed her to her car. “This is Arjun, my brother.” Arjun smiled and went back to looking out of the window. “He’s a bit shy around girls” she snickered and he whined, “Taaraaa.” “Sorry Arjun”, we were both giggling now. “So where do you stay?” “Petal homes, Circuit road.” “Suraj, Circuit road please”, she said to her driver. The rest of the way we chatted excitedly, me telling her all about our school she filling me on what all she did at her old school. It seemed like we reached home under 5 minutes instead of 15. As I waved bye I felt the happiness disappear with her. My heart was once again gloomy and cold. I rang the doorbell at least a dozen times before a harried Shanta opened the door. I dumped my bag on the floor and ran up the stairs. “I want to eat my lunch in my room” I shouted out to her as I climbed up.

An hour later, changed and eaten I was feeling better. I tiptoed into dad’s bedroom and closed the door behind me. Shanta would be in the kitchen finishing her lunch and later she would be busy with the laundry and other housework. I was nervous, giant butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I had never done anything like this before; to snoop on my father was something other than just breaking his rules and waking up late. Steeling myself I reminded myself about my investigation. I started with the bedside drawers, carefully putting everything back just as it was. The first drawer had three books on meditation and yoga, a stapler and some bills. Dad’s second drawer was quite empty. I looked for hiding places, just like I had hidden my journal. Nothing. I moved to the other bedside table. One drawer had medicines and the other jumbled up phone chargers and headphones. Ignoring them I moved on to his cupboard. Clothes, clothes and more clothes. Bottom shelf had shoes, left drawer had watches and money and what looked like business files. The other drawer at the right was locked; I looked around to see if I could find the key then hurrahed as I found it hidden under a pile of clothes. That wasn’t a very innovative place to hide keys I thought to myself. I opened it with so much drama and tension, I felt I would find what I was looking for, in here. It was anti-climatic though, there was just one super big velvet box and when I opened it there were a few pieces of jewelry in it. Mom’s jewelry, which she had worn at the time of the accident, and nothing else. I shut it carefully and put the key back where I found it.

I was about to climb on a chair to look at the topmost shelf when I heard the doorbell and panicked. Quickly shutting everything I slipped out and ran into my room. My heart was hammering and I felt strangely alive! I was super excited and promised myself I would find whatever there was for me to find.

4.

Motilal was back on the job the next day and after school I forced him to teach me to drive. He was scared of dad finding out, so I promised him that no one would ever know. After listening to his lecture about the gears, clutch, accelerator and brake and how complicated they all can get; when I finally slipped into the driver’s seat; he told me that this car had auto-transmission! I could have punched him if he was my age, but he was way, way older, so I just ground my teeth and grinned alternatively, happy that I wouldn’t have to practice all that gear-changing that he had scared me with. ‘This is good progress’ I thought to myself, driving lessons on the second day of school! We picked a dead-end street behind school to practice on. It was super fun; the freedom, the exhilaration, the powerful engine thrumming waiting for me to guide it; I was in love with my car. I felt one with the machine and clutched the steering wheel tightly as if my life depended on it. I drove straight up the road, very slowly, my eyes jumping between the road and the speedometer and stopped with a jerk once I neared the end of the street. When I turned to look at Motilal, he was completely petrified and his mouth was frozen into an ‘O’. I almost laughed, then got out of the driver’s seat and sat back behind quietly. He was so relieved I hadn’t crashed into something!

The next two weeks went well, school was good as usual, driving lessons were fantastic, Tara and me became fast friends (in spite of the 2 year gap) and I avoided dad as best as I could. I woke up religiously every morning at 5.30 am, writing in my journal and peeking through my door, though there was nothing that I saw at that unearthly hour, so there wasn’t much to write. I half considered to stop waking up at ridiculous 5.30, but then decided to at least go a couple months with it. I had thoroughly gone through dad’s bedroom and had found no information at all. I found piles of photographs though; lots of them. A stack of photos of mom, of their wedding and of trips that they had taken abroad. Photos of them at restaurants and picnics and at someone’s wedding. It hurt me to see that there was not one photo of me. Not even one single picture of me. I took one picture of mom and one of her at the wedding hugging the bride for keepsakes; those would go in my journal. Next I planned to target dad’s study. Waking up so early also made me tired and sleepy so I was quiet most nights and that suited dad, so no more ‘Turn the volume down you are disturbing me’ or ‘Lights have to be off at 10.30pm’; I was fast asleep long before 10.30 pm everyday!

Tara and I hung out whenever we could. Our sense of humor, passion for the same kind of music, and just about everything was awesome. Two things about us were very different – one was type of boys we crushed on (which we both thought was very important!) she liked the quiet, nerdy and shy types and I went for the football team captain, popular types. Second was our families – her family was very close, eating-dinner-together-at-the-table type close and everyone cared about each other. She could talk to her mom or dad about anything; even boys; and they would hear her out, have a conversation and then leave the decision to Tara, who I suspected always chose ‘the right thing’ to do. Chez nous, I’m sure I would have had a similar relationship with my mom, but now with just dad and me, we actually avoided talking to each other, and the last time we ate at a table together was at a restaurant.

Tara would talk a lot about her parents and what they did every weekend. One weekend every month was a picnic..’family tradition’ she had said and I felt cold and empty inside, it was an alien concept for me– family traditions. One day Tara asked me what I did with my parents. Up until then she didn’t even know that mom was dead. When I told her she stared at me and for the first time I felt tears brimming in my eyes. My vision blurred and I turned my head, I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. And Tara did the sweetest thing. She didn’t ask when? Or how? Or Oh no, I’m so sorry. She just stared at me and then she just hugged me tight. It was like she pounced on me and held me tight, close to her like I was an escaping convict and her the jailor! And we stood like that for a minute or so, till I could compose myself and then when I wriggled a bit she let go. She just smiled a sad little smile.

We always stayed back after school together till her driver came, spending the 20 minute wait either singing songs in my car or (mostly) I took her on a practice drive on the street behind. She would shriek with joy and Motilal would be scared shit as usual, it was so funny! I was getting pretty good at turns and Tara promised she wouldn’t tell anyone only when I promised to never take the car out alone.

One day while we were waiting after school I just started telling her about how it was with my dad. The words just flowed out, I could tell this girl anything and I knew she wouldn’t make fun of me or gossip about me with other girls. I knew she would have my back; she was like the sister I never had! I told her all about how we just drifted apart all these years, that he was not interested in anything to do with me, never came to school for plays and competitions, never looked at my grades, never asked me how I was doing. Her eyes were round with surprise, but she didn’t show it. Such a babe she was! She just nodded nonchalantly and asked me what I was doing the following Saturday.

“Nothing.” I shrugged. It was true. Saturdays I usually played tennis, but I was planning to skip and eat loads of ice cream while watching movies. Her next words surprised me, She said, “Can you check with your dad if its okay if you come for a sleep-over to my house? We can go swimming, eat pizzas, watch movies and have lots of fun. I’ll drop you back home on Sunday.” I was very excited. “Your parents won’t mind? Don’t you have to ask them first?” “Oh usually I do, but its ok, they keep asking how I’m liking it at the new school and if I’ve made friends so they are gonna be happy to meet you. You tell me, you wanna come?” “Don’t you think so?” I asked, the happiness showing on my face. We both laughed. “What should I bring?” I asked. “Nothing! Just your clothes.” Her driver came at that minute and we waved bye. I opened the driver side door and Motilal looked at me with a horrified expression. “Come on move over Motilalji, I want to drive home today.” “No no please, sir will chop my head off!” he said. I laughed, “No! He will not! Dad is in Kolkata this whole week, he won’t know. You sit next to me in the front.” I drove slowly, stopping correctly at all the traffic lights and signaling correctly before every turn. I could tell Motilal was impressed. “Very good baby” he exhaled when we finally reached home. I rolled my eyes, ‘baby’ again! But I was so gleeful, nothing could spoil my day now. Shanta was looking at me like I’d gone nuts. Can’t blame her, I’m usually in a stupid mood whenever I come back home from school. I ran up to my room thinking about the coming weekend.

5.

Saturday came after what seemed like ages! I woke up and messaged Tara, “What time should I come?” She messaged back immediately, “I thought you were already on your way!! Come soon :D” I laughed and got dressed. I was elated, picked up my overnight bag and ran downstairs. Dad was sitting in his study, I knocked and entered and he looked up at me with a scowl on his face, irritated at the interruption. “I’m going to my friend’s house for a sleepover. She will drop me back tomorrow.” “What? Wait a minute. Which friend? When did you plan this?” “She’s in my school, Tara. She asked me 2-3 days back, you weren’t there or I would have told you. She stays in Kadma.” I added without him asking. He removed his spectacles and turned fully toward me, his face angry. “Kadma? That’s quite far away. You can’t just spring something on me one minute and walk out the door the next!” “Kadma is not very far, what’s the problem if I go?” “You can’t go. That’s all, go back to your room.” I stood there stunned as he glared at me.

Here I was all excited and looking forward to a fun weekend with my best friend and dad was barricading me!! What was with him, he should have been happy he wouldn’t have to see me the whole weekend. I stood there for another minute weighing my options. I could either listen to him and head up to my room, or else argue and that would just make him mad and get me nowhere. So I turned around and stomped up the steps and slammed my door shut. Then a minute later I heard the door to his study click shut and I was out of my room like a shot, tip-toeing down the stairs with my bag clutched tight to my chest and my heart racing. I was sure getting addicted to all this adrenaline!

I walked out of the house and didn’t stop till I reached the main road. I stopped and pulled out my phone and dialed, “Hey Tara, our car has some problem, can you come get me? I’m near the Central Book Store.” And just like that I coolly walked up to the book store and waited for Tara, successful at my very first deception.

Tara hugged me when I got into her car. Her home was a duplex independent house just like mine, the living room had a black and white theme and everything right from the furniture to the pillows on the couch to the carpets and even the walls and fancy showpieces were either black or white; and to top it all there was a fancy black piano too at one corner of the room! “Wow” I muttered “Oh this black and white gets boring very quickly! My parents went crazy with this whole color thing, you should see the patio out back, there is a chessboard made in the floor; again black and white!!” “What! Cool! Supercool, my house is nothing like this! Where are your mom and dad?” “They must have just gone over to the neighbors; we got their letter in the mail by mistake.” Her room was on the ground floor and I thought it was wonderful. Brightly colored in aqua and sea-green, one wall was almost completely covered with a huge Harry Potter poster. I dumped my bag on the floor next to her bed. “Come sit, see what I was doing” she said pulling me to the floor. On a sheet of paper was a beautiful painting of trees in fall. Lovely burnt orange and red leaves and what I thought must be superb brush strokes of the setting sun in the sky. “Wow, it’s beautiful, I didn’t know you painted so well.” “Thanks” she grinned. “I’m glad you like it; I’m making it for you.” My mouth was open in astonishment. “I’ll put it up in my bedroom”, I promised. We heard a door shut somewhere and she pulled me up, “That must be mom and dad, come I’ll introduce you.”

We entered the living area where her parents were sitting on the sofa watching the TV, I could see the back of their heads. “Mom, dad, this is my bestest friend Priyanka.” She dazzled a smile and pointed her hands towards me as though she was presenting a celebrity on TV! “Hello” I said shyly as I stepped inside and around facing them. Tara’s mom was beautiful and she had an amazing bob haircut with fringes that reached her eyes (I am a big fan of the fringe but school won’t allow it!). Her dad was medium built, balding and had glasses on the very tip of his nose that reminded me of ‘Uncle Scrooge McDuck’! As I looked at them, for a second I felt like a gate crasher, their expressions said that they hadn’t expected me at all, my smile faded. Tara’s mom was the first one to compose herself and she said “Hello, it’s good that you came else Tara would have been disappointed.” “Why wouldn’t I come” the words were out of my mouth and as I looked at Tara’s mom I felt a vague sense of déjà vu, like I’d already met her somewhere. “Hello Priyanka” said her dad looking at me and nodding very slowly. “Ok now we are going to my room, bye people!” Tara pulled me back into her room. “Did your mom think I wasn’t coming?” “No reason why she would think that, why?” I just shook my head and smiled, shelving it away to analyze later.

We sat on her bed and how time flew; we talked about everything from boys, to studies to period pains and moodiness and favorite movies and of course the latest fashion in clothes. We sat and painted each other’s toe nails and then we heard Arjun shout from outside the door, “Mom’s calling you for lunch.”

After a surreptitious phone call from the bathroom I followed Tara out to lunch. There was pasta and pizza with ice cream and some healthy salad stuff for her parents. Everyone sat together at the table and I quite liked eating that way. “Are you going swimming today?” her mom asked as we cleaned out our ice cream bowls. “Yes, of course we will” Tara exchanged a smile with me, “Priyanka, are you going to swim too?” “Yes mom” Tara answered for me. She nodded and exchanged a look with her husband “Be ready at 4 then, your dad is going to take you to the club and get you back.” I looked at her dad who frowned at her mom and I averted my eyes. Tara was busy picking out pieces of chocolate from her bowl.

Swimming was fun and I met a few of her friends at the club. We all split a sandwich after the swim and munched on chips while I listened to their stories. Everytime I thought about Tara’s mom, I kept having the feeling that she looked familiar but I just couldn’t place her so I finally gave up.

We were singing to Taylor Swift in the car on the way back home when her dad turned the music off and asked us to be quiet. Back home there was more pizza for dinner with sprite and lava cake. We picked up our plates and settled in Tara’s room with the food and drinks and watched the Minions movie; we laughed until our sides hurt. “Let’s go to the terrace and look at the moon” Tara sprang up like a wound up toy and I groaned “Don’t you ever get tired? Let’s go to sleep!” But she didn’t hear me at all! She yanked me up and we climbed up to the terrace. She motioned me to be quiet and pointed to the left side of the terrace, “My parents room is on the other side” she whispered. They don’t like me coming up here so late, but I love looking at the moon and stars. We held hands and sat on the floor looking up at the stars. The house was quiet, the TV was off and it looked like everyone but us was asleep. It was close to midnight in my watch when we got back to her bedroom. “Tara, I’m trying to find something, will you help me?” she looked at me her brows furrowed, “What are you trying to find? Did you lose something?” “No, not like that”, I said. “I’m on a secret mission to find out who I really am.” “Yaa, me too”, she said, “I don’t know what to do once school is done. I know I said I’m keen on medicine, but sometimes I wonder if I want to be an artist just painting all day.” “No Tara”, I interrupted. “I don’t mean that. I really mean to find out who I am.” “What do you mean?” I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat. “I think I’m adopted.”

 

……….to be continued